*sigh*... Pretty girls.
Plus, my BF casually dropped into conversation last night that his female friend is coming over from America for a few weeks to spend Christmas with them. Credit where it’s due, she sounds like a really lovely girl, and I *know* that he’s 100% faithful to me. It’s not that I’m jealous, or feel threatened, it’s just… I don’t know. She’s a close friend of their family, and she and he have this really close bond and loads of inside jokes... I just feel so incredibly alone at the moment as it is and I’m scared that she’ll (inadvertently) squeeze me out of my own relationship. Ordinarily it’d be just the kick up the arse I need to get moving and lose some fatness, but I just don’t feel like I can try any harder.
I’m so tired, and I want so badly to pack it all in and just go back to those days when I didn’t worry about any of this, but I’m afraid that if I give it up I’ll have nothing, like peeling back layer after layer of an onion only to find that there’s nothing left.