Sunday, 26 September 2010


It's funny and it's not. This time last year, all I wanted was to lose myself, to become invisible. Now, as a wife, that's exactly what I've done, and I realise it wasn't what I wanted at all.

Don't get me wrong, marriage is amazing; I love my husband, I love that we get to be together always, and I'd never wish to undo this thing that we're making together. But it's also really, really, really hard. And after trying to lose myself for so long, I feel like it's finally happening, but so fast. And suddenly I want myself back again. My life no longer feels like my own. And I promised m husband I'd do everything in mypower not to come back here, but it's the only place I know to come when everything starts feeling like this.

If ever you read this, love (and I hope you don't), I'm sorry. I think you'll leave me soon, though I've no proof of it. But I'll make it easier for you by being a little bitch.

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